


Hybrid on a Leash

by sastielhugs



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Blood, Flashbacks, Hunter!Cas, Hunting, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Purgatory, Romance, Sastiel - Freeform, Violence, hybrid!Sam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-16 00:30:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2249190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sastielhugs/pseuds/sastielhugs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is a new born purgatory hybrid with twisted past with his mother. Although he has the body and the years, he is very young and not and never met the hunters that come every year to hunt trophies. Baby monsters are very rare and the hunters at the black markets are giving loads of money for every purgatory monster and even more for newborns. When Castiel finds out about a newborn monster, he decides to hunt him down at any cost and take his revenge as always, showing everyone that no one plays games with him. But would he harm him when he finds out the truth about Sam’s emerge? Would Cas break a promise he have made 7 years ago? Will his vengeance swallow him or he will try to win something back although he never had it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pilot Chapter - What are you?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work i will post in my new ao3 account. You can find and follow me in tumblr with URL sastiel-wuvs-hugs and also find the fic there.

**A/N:** The following graphic is made by a big fan of the fic, [Inu](http://www.queenlilybaker.tumblr.com). 

* * *

 

 

There is only one rule: there are no rules!

_He knows he doesn’t have much time. Run now or stay locked here for a year. But he is burning to find out what his pray is this time. Definitely not what he expected._

Once they step in Purgatory, the hunt is on. They all have 1 hour to hunt for a whole year. Would it be vampires, werewolves, wendigos, zombies, leviathans etc., they kill them the way they decide, spill some ashes over the corpse, whisper a spell and gather the burnt remains in separate containers. When the hunter goes back, he takes the ashes to the black market and gets reward depending on what they’ve brought. There are witches and specialized old hunters who know the different ashes and how to generate the body of the monster and use it for their benefits.

Every year happens for a hunter to die, but that’s Purgatory and though the monsters run for their lives some of them still rip the heart out of some hunters. And those who stay alive claim it’s worth the risk because no other job pays better than the black market. And the adrenaline rush during that one hour is overwhelming.

Among all hunters Castiel is the best one. He dedicated his entire life into becoming the best hunter. And when the Purgatory hunting opened up for a first time Castiel was pleasantly surprised of how well he did the first time – 3 vampires, a leviathan and a werewolf, a lot of damage over himself that put him in hospital for 3 weeks but he raised in the eyes of everyone quickly. Since then he trained everyday to be ready for the following hunting. His entire year was spent into training for that one hour in Purgatory.

This year Castiel has a slight advantage with some information.

When he appears in Purgatory, his knife is held prepared for battle, his thoughts concentrated on the task. Every year he starts from the same spot. Instead of heading north, he heads south where the forest is thicker and darker, where no other hunter dares to step.

 _‘Are you crazy? You’ll be ripped apart there’_ a fellow hunter told him before the transportation, but Castiel didn’t even blink. He was coldhearted, killer.

Tracking the monsters in that terrifying place is as easy as using GPS. Castiel was determined and ready to hunt what he needs at all cost.

Cas kneels after 10 minutes and finds some tracks, smells the air, calculates how long it was since the monster passed this place and where it headed.

 It’s not long after Castiel heads northwest when a vampire runs between the trees. Castiel groans, smirks and runs after it. When he gets close enough he aims perfectly and throws his knife in the vampire’s legs. It hits him right and the monster trips and falls. That’s when Cas drops over him, cold sharp blade pressed to the vampire’s throat.

‘Why all vampires are so bad at hiding’ 

‘I’ll RIP YOUR THROAT’ the monster growls in his face and Cas wrinkles his nose from the stink.

‘That’s what they all say every year. Yet, here I am’ he smiles and presses the blade harder ‘Now, tell me, where I can find the newborn?’

‘BITE ME’

Castiel punches him in the face and cuts across his chest, pressing the blade back to his throat.

‘Let me try again. Where I can find the newborn monster? Tell me and I will let you go’

‘I don’t trust you’ the vampire writhe beneath him.

‘Listen, I don’t have much time, and what I’m looking for costs more than you, so I won’t waste energy and time on you. WHERE IS IT?’

‘Promise to let me go.’

‘Cross my heart. Where is it?’

‘Down the lake. All gather close to the lake.’

‘Wasn’t that difficult a? Thank you’

Castiel stands up and cunningly takes out his axe dropping in on the vampire’s neck before it could understand what is happening. Then he throws the ash, casts the spell and gathers the remains.

‘Well I lied’ he says as he puts the container in his bag and runs through the forest towards the lake.

He kills few more monsters that surprise him on the way, but he doesn’t stop to gather their ashes. He wants the newborn. He doesn’t care about the money. He wants trophies, he wants the monsters to fear him, for the hunters to know who is the most powerful, to spread some chaos among the chaos itself, to stand above the monsters, to become monster’s nightmare.

He gets to the lake and sneaks between the trees, looking at some traces. Big footsteps, thick smell of something different than what Castiel knows. Few more steps and the lake coast is revealed. And there it is. A predator smile spreads on Castiel’s lips.

It’s bigger than what Castiel expected… it’s giant for a newborn. It’s male, kneeling in the rubble by the lake and drinking water from cupped palms. It doesn’t even look like a monster. Castiel hesitates for a moment but he doesn’t remember hunter from the hunter that looks like that. He only hopes he is not wrong, or it will cost him a lot. He looks at his wrist-watch – 20 minutes to kill him and take him back to the place where he will be pulled back in the normal world.

He takes out his biggest knife and hides it behind his back, sneaking closer and closer. He chooses the best distance – long enough to react if the monster attacks, but short enough to run after him if it decides to run. Castiel whistles playfully and the thing turns head to pick over its shoulder and slowly stands up with curious stare.

‘Hi’ Castiel greets it, slightly confused of its lack of concern.

‘Hi’ It answers simply.

‘Are you lost?’ Castiel asks and dares a step closer.

‘Mm, no. I was thirsty. Are you thirsty? Do you want some water?’

Castiel tries to cover up his surprise. Why is not scared? Why is it not running?

‘No… I’m here for a while and I have to hurry back home. Do you have home?’

‘It’s not far’ it nodes. ‘My mom is there… are you lost? I can help you.’

‘I’m here to do my job’ Cas steps one more step. ‘Do you have name?’

‘My name is Sam’ he smiles friendly and steps closer to Castiel. That’s when he takes out the knife and Sam’s smile suddenly gets wiped off his face, heart hammering against his chest.

‘Nice to meet you. Haven’t your mother ever told you not to go anywhere alone?’

‘Who are you, what do you want?’ Sam steps back, eyes pinned on the blade.  

‘What a shame I have to harm such beautiful face’ Castiel admits, regretting for a split of a second.

Sam is too big and slow to react on time and when he takes the second step to run, Castiel cuts the opposite of his knees and he trips and falls flat in the rubble. Castiel kicks his side till he turns on back, sits over him, hand squeezing his throat, taking out a smaller knife and cutting through Sam’s side. He rips the air with a cry, tears streaming down his face, begging for mercy like no other monster ever did. Chills pin in Castiel. The adrenaline bumping through his veins. And for a first time ever a voice in his head screams for him to stop. Or probably it’s the monster in his hands. He takes a second to look down and he freezes, the scream ‘STOP’ getting louder.

It’s blood. Red thick human blood dripping from Sam’s wound and cuts. His cries louder than anything else Castiel ever killed. He was so convinced that’s the monster. What happened?

He pulls the knife and stares Sam in total shock. ‘What are you?’ he whispers breathlessly. Sam is too overwhelmed with pain to manage an answer. Castiels searches fast for first aid kit but when he is about to clean he wound he sees in slowly closing itself.

‘Why did you do that?’ Sam sobs, trying to crawl back ‘Please don’t hurt me… I mean you no harm… why are you doing this’

‘WHAT ARE YOU?’ Castiel yells in his shock, hesitating between killing him right now or taking a moment to think. The blood indicates he is human. But what Castiel is prepared for is a monster. His mother is a monster therefore he is a monster. Why then he is bleeding like a human and healing like a monster?

The clock is counting down. He has less than 15 minutes to go back. If he runs now he will succeed. If he takes a minute more, he will stay locked in Purgatory for a year.

The decision is taken.

He drops his bag on the ground and leans over Sam again with the knife ‘What… are… you?’

 

to be continued


	2. It is you

It’s Castiel’s worst hunt ever.

In the last second he decided he had to run back, he left his bag and Sam at the lake, holding only one knife, rushing through Purgatory to get to his exit.

Castiel has no breath left, his heart hammering in his ribs, drops of sweat rolling down his face and attracting the monsters to come and hunt him down. He doesn’t have his bag with his stuff, the only vampire he caught left in the container, the newborn he was craving to kill left there as well. He has nothing and the hunters are going to laugh at him. The best hunter returning with nothing.

He is angry with himself. He failed miserably and he is going to regret. He had to kill Sam the moment he got to him, not have a friendly chat with the monster. Then again, was he monster? No Purgatory monster could bleed like a human. No Purgatory monster cries with tears in overwhelming pain as Sam did. Yet no human heals a stab in the stomach within seconds.  

He clears his mind and runs for his life towards the exit. It’s already close. Cas sees it and though his legs are giving up he forces all strength to reach it. The hole in the tree. He has to jump in it and he is back.

He trips and falls with closed eyes, hand inside the hole, trying to catch his breath. He opens his eyes and looks around…

‘No… no ….. nonono’ he breaths heavy, his sight blacking out. It’s still Purgatory around him. ‘HEY… LET ME THROUGH’ he yells towards the tree. The exit does not open. Wave of flames swallows Castiel. He never been so concern in his life even not the first time he hunt in Purgatory.  ‘LET ME TRHOUGH’ he yells again, trying not to let the panic take over him. That’s something he learnt first – never let the panic control you. Try to think instead.

‘Well, well, well… look how the tables turned’ a group of 3 vampires come around and Castiel automatically lifts up his little knife, trying not to show them how weak he is. ‘What happened big hunter? Can’t you find your way home?’ they step closer, tightening the circle around Castiel.

‘I can deal with all of you’ Castiel warns them with hoarse voice, his muscles tensing in stand by position.

‘You are alone this time hunter. No one will ever see you again. Time for the revenge’

That’s when the vampire behind Castiel gets tossed in the air, hitting the nearest tree and falling in unconsciousness. The other two vampires attack the one that joined the party but both end up with ripped throats. Castiel, crawling on the ground, shifts to see Sam dropping the large vampire on the ground. Sam looks at Cas, some blood coating his mouth, but still he looks innocent and scared.

‘You okay?’ he asks Cas and wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket, embarrassed by what he did. ‘They are not dead but they gonna suffer for a long time. My bite is poisonous to them’ Sam adds while Castiel still stares at him in total surprise and confusion. But it hits him – Sam is a werewolf.

‘Why did you do it?’ Cas asks breathlessly still in shock. It’s not usual for a Purgatory monster to rescue a hunter. May be Sam has sick games in his mind he wants to play with Castiel and wants him for him only.

‘I couldn’t let them hurt you’ Sam explained and frowned like that was obvious. Like why would Castiel ask such thing.  

‘B-but why?’ Castiel insists and stands up with shaking legs. ‘I came to kill here. I stabbed you. Why would you help me now?’

Sam listens him carefully and shrugs after a little ‘Because no human deserves to die in Purgatory. Because you are not like the rest… at least that’s how I see it’

Castiel laughs shortly and rises eyebrows ‘Do you really think that? Sam… I’m the greatest hunter here. I’ve killed over 100 monsters here and brought them to the black market. According to everything that lives here I have to die the most brutal way. Why are you defending me?’

‘Because… you let me go… you stabbed me and got concern for me. Because you know that I’m not an ordinary werewolf. Because if we work together it may turn up positive for both of us’

Castiel is, briefly said, surprised. He is shocked and his head is a blank page. Those are the last words he ever expected to hear from a purgatory monster. He tries to trust him but at the same time his training skills are warning him to watch out.

‘You can’t go back to your home, can you?’ Sam asks sadly.

‘I’ll find a way’ Cas shoots fast with determination.

‘I got your stuff’ Sam takes Cas’ bag off his shoulder and steps close to him, handing it. Castiel takes it fast and trashes through it. ‘Don’t worry. I made sure everything is there. I filled the flask with clean water if you get thirsty.’

Castiel is still confused and cautioned.

‘I know’ Sam shrugs ‘It’s strange that I want to help you. But if you are the one I think you are… then I’m more than ready to get you through this place and send you back to your home.’

‘Do you know me? What do you mean?’

‘Do you trust me? Can I walk you through Purgatory? You will need my help now when everything here wants you dead.’

‘I don’t think I can trust you’ Cas shakes head.

‘I think you’ll be surprised when you find out about me. You were burning to know what I am. And I’m only half werewolf. Come on, Cas, that’s your chance to find out.’

Something about the way Sam pronounced his name fascinated Cas. There is no fear when he talks, no confusion, no caution. All about Sam feels natural and … even human.

‘You got locked here because you wanted to know what I am. You are locked from your home. I think I at least owe you safety escort back.’

‘Why do you keep repeating about home? What do you know about it?’Cas bursts with unexpected anger.

Immediately he regrets his harsh tone and gets surprised by his own reaction, as he watches Sam’s eyes filling with tears. This can’t be happening. He can’t cry… he should not do that.

‘I’m not sure if that’s my home… I’m no quiet sure I belong here and I don’t want others to feel the same way. I want to find my place. Even if we are not going to trust each other I’m willing to take the risk. May be you can help me like you helped my mother’

Those words slice through Castiel’s memories. What does he talk about? Who is he? Who's his mother?

‘The pregnant teenage werewolf girl?’ Sam adds the question and that’s when Castiel remembers it all.

‘Ohmygod’ Castiel utters, his heart hammering against his chest again, unable to take his eyes off Sam. He almost broke a promise earlier down the river. The promise standing right in front of his eyes. The promise that goes against Castiel himself and the entire hunter society.

tbc


	3. Lost and confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks at the beginning

_7 years ago_

_6 months before the first Purgatory hunting_

She runs fast. Tears are streaming down her face, panting for air, one hand on her bumped belly. A group of 7 old hunters are running right after her with guns, knives and torches. It’s dark but still they know how to hunt her down. She is desperate. She will die for sure. She had to hide better. She doesn’t want to die.

She is lucky. With her strong sight she sees dim lights of a house at the other end of the forest and runs directly there. She doesn’t care who is there. Any person would help a pregnant young lady. The yells of the hunters are getting louder, but they are not fast enough to get to her. She puts all her effort and energy and reaches the house.

‘PLEASE OPEN. HELP ME. PLEASE’ she cries and slams the door with fists.

A man opens up and she falls in his arms.

‘Oh my god, are you okay? What is going on?’ the man pulls her inside as she desperately clenches on his sleeve.

‘Please, don’t let them in, I’m begging you… please’ she cries with wet pleading eyes and Castiel comforts her, leading her in the living room at the back of the house.

_‘Where did she go?’_

_‘Hey that’s Novak’s house, someone ask him’_

One of the old hunters slams the door  _‘Hey, Novak. Open up.’_

‘Guys’ Castiel shows up at the door with confusion. ‘What is going on?’

‘Did you see something passing by your property?’

‘Uumm, no. I didn’t see anything.’ Castiel lies and shakes head.

‘There is a female werewolf in that area, but don’t worry… we got it covered’ the old mad hunter smirks predatory as he steps back. Castiel’s heart settles in his throat, a drop of sweat erupting on the surface of his temple.

‘Good night Castiel, and lock well the house before putting on pajamas.’ The hunters laugh as they split up in the area to search for the werewolf.

Castiel goes back in the living room, holding a silver big knife. When the girl sees him, she breaks in crying and drops on her knees, sobbing and begging.

‘Please, don’t hurt me… I’m beginning you. I mean no harm I promise… I promise’

Castiel observes her and considers her words. And when he sees her holding her belly, something in him clicks and he just drops the knife on the floor, picking up the girl by her shoulders and letting her to sit on the sofa. ‘Do you want some water?’

The girl named Merry gets completely calm by the end of her story that Castiel listens very carefully.

‘Are you better now?’ Castiel asks her quietly and Merry nods ‘So… you are a pregnant werewolf. And the baby is…’

‘A hybrid.’ Merry finishes.

‘Where is its dad? What is he?’

‘They hunt him down’ Merry barely answers her eyes filling with tears. ‘He was a Nephilim, half angel. That makes my baby… uum… half werewolf, then, ¼ angel and ¼ human. ‘

‘That’s the strangest combination I’ve ever heard of’ Castiel snorts with a smile, highly-surprised.

‘Why you didn’t attack me? Why you speared my life?’ Merry asks as she rubs her belly.

‘You are desperate… pregnant and lost girl… although you are werewolf… I don’t have heart to take your life. And now as I know that the baby you are carrying has a human part in it… I’m not a monster Merry.  I’m a hunter and I hunt what deserves to be taken down.’

‘I promise, Cas, I never killed a human to feed. I will never harm a human for my satisfaction. I just want to look after my baby and live a peaceful life here.’

‘I’ll prepare you bed upstairs. You can stay here tonight and tomorrow I’ll take you to the town to find an apartment. ‘

_Same year_

_3 months before the first Purgatory hunting_

Marry lives a peaceful happy life in a flat in the center of the town. Castiel goes to visit her every once in a while and that night he is bringing some Chinese food for a movie night.

To his shock, he finds Merry writhing and bleeding out on the carpet in the living room.

‘MERRY’ he yells and kneels next to her, holding her pale face.

‘Purgatory… pur-ga… tory… purgatory’ she repeats again and again, shaking and dying slowly but painfully.

‘Merry, hold on. Please, hold on’ Castiel can’t find the wound, he panics, tears rolling down his cheeks. She is dying. All of a sudden Merry grasps his shirt and pins his attention.

‘Promise me… you’ll save him… don’t let them touch him… take him out… purgatory. Promise me’ she chokes with last breath.

‘I promise, I promise, Merry…’ he calls her as her grasp loosens and her body rests in his arms. Castiel’s heart feels like it has stopped ‘Merry? MERRY!’ he shakes her but it’s too late.

* * *

 

_Purgatory Present time_

It’s been hours Castiel following Sam through Purgatory and telling him the story. And though Sam already knows it, he is still interested to hear a different point of view.

‘So I was right’ Sam smirks ‘Not all hunters are ruthless assholes. That’s why you come here every year.’

‘What do you mean?’ Cas asks a bit distracted as he looks around for possible threat hiding nearby.   

‘You come to ‘hunt’ here every year right? But you actually come to search for my mother and me. To keep the promise? Oh, this way’ Sam adds fast and changes the directions.

‘Oh! Yeah… uum… sort-a… not really’ Cas stutters and takes his knife out at stand by position. ‘There are things Merry doesn’t know. It’s not the time and the place to discuss. And not with you.’

That shuts Sam’s mouth and they have a mile in silence.

‘You are coming here every year to search for us right?’ Sam asks all of a sudden and Cas exhales irritated.

‘Yes, yes I did come… but that was in the past’

Sam stops and looks at him confused. ‘What do you mean in the past? What happened…?’

‘Sam, we have to keep moving’ Castiel cuts him and walks pass him but Sam catches his arm and stops him. Surprisingly Castiel doesn’t react but just nails at his spot. 

‘I want to know what is happening. I want to be sure I’m not making a mistake by leading you through Purgatory to the exit.’

‘Alright’ Castiel turns to face him ‘After Merry died, I sacrificed nights of sleep to find out what is that Purgatory. When I found out I spent 3 months training to become better hunter so I could attend the first Purgatory hunting and try to find your mother and you and protect you from the other hunters, and the same time hiding that in secret and fighting all the other monsters in that damn place. 3 years later, one day of the spring I found my sister dead. With one note:  _We know what you did to Merry. Now we took something of yours._ Someone framed me for a werewolf’s dead and the werewolves took their revenge. And that was it. I started training 365 days of the year just to come for one hour in Purgatory and kill whatever gets on my way and show to all hunters and monsters that no one play games with me’

Sam stands and listens to him with resentfulness, even disappointment.  He nods and snorts stepping back, shaking head and changing direction of walking.

‘Where are you going?’

‘Anywhere that is not near you’

‘You wanted the truth. Why are you running?’ Castiel raises voice. He needs Sam to escape Purgatory and he can’t let him go just like that.

‘Because you let me down’ Sam turns and throws hands to the side ‘I liked you by my mother’s stories… I… ‘like’ is not even strong enough. There was something more of what I imagined about you and now…’ he slides hand through his hair ‘You gave up on us. You broke your promise towards my mom. You come to take your revenge. 7 years in a roll. Are you happy now? Did the revenge bring your sister back? Is it worth it tossing everything away?’

‘Everything? What everything? Your mother… the werewolf? You? You are barely ¼ of a human…’

‘So?’ Sam’s eyes fill with tears ‘Does it mean I deserve to die? Isn’t that little part strong enough? Look at yourself? What are you? You are murderer…’

‘I RISKED EVERYTHING’ Castiel yells ‘I lost my sister… I wasted 7 years of my life because I protected your mother.’

‘NO ONE ASKED YOU TO. DON’T PUT THE GUILT ON US’ Sam yells back and sends shivers over Castiel’s spine.

‘I WANTED TO’ Castiel cuts him and takes a breath ‘I had good intentions towards your mother. She became my friend. A proof for me that being a monster is relevant. She was carrying you, Sam. The moment I laid fingers on her bump I got attached to you. You are a unique hybrid…’

‘Mhm… this is what you see – a hybrid. You can sell me for good money on the black market.’

‘I was intending to’ Castiel answers quietly. ‘And I risked everything again because of you. I got locked here because I knew it there is something familiar about you. I agreed to follow you. Do you still believe I don’t care?’

All of a sudden Sam grasps Castiel by his clothes and drags him fast down the hill they are standing. Castiel has no breath to ask what is he doing but he swears Sam is going to rip him apart. Until they reach a high-massive formation of rocks between giant tall trees. Sam shoves Castiel in the crack between the rocks and enters after him , pinning him with his own body and covering up his mouth and nose with hand, dropping face to his ear.

‘Quiet’ he whispers breathlessly, Castiel clenching on Sam’s jacket, his heart hammering in his ears.

_‘I swear I heard yelling from this are. Let’s go’_

Entire group of vampires walk somewhere near and disappear after not much longer.

‘I covered up your smell’ Sam whispers in Cas’ ear and his hair stands up. It is wrong the way Sam talks and presses into him but Cas can’t help the short irrelevant moment of arousal. It is so wrong. ‘You can thank me later’ Sam adds and waits just a bit more to make sure the area is clean before sneaking out from the crack between the rocks and dragging Cas through Purgatory back on their track towards the exit.


	4. I promised

It’s been hours since Sam and Cas escaped the vampires and headed northwest towards the exit of Purgatory. They don’t say anything to each other. Castiel has not much to say. What can he say? Sam is right – coming every year to kill is not going to bring his sister back. It’s a lost cause. He had a promise towards a friend and he tossed it away to get on the train of revenge and he can’t get off. And this train is going to take him somewhere far where there is no turning back. Castiel glimpses at Sam who is walking by his side. What if Sam is his savior? What if Sam is the last station where Cas has the chance to get off the train?

Sam on other hand has things to say and things to ask. Merry has always telling him of Castiel and his goodness. But what happened earlier broke Sam’s picture of Castiel. And still he wants to give him a chance, to know him better, to fall for him like he fell in the stories.

Yes. Sam has something about Castiel. He is not sure what exactly, he is not taught about feelings and desires and life perspective, preferences. No monster needs such things in Purgatory, but Sam’s human part wants what it wants and Sam needs to release it, to learn it and lift the heaviness off his chest. Castiel is his chance to find his place in the world. Every part of his hybrid self fights for dominance and wants satisfaction and Sam is scared to let the wolf inside him take control. It’s the biggest part of him and he doesn’t want to lose against it. Merry controlled it. He has to find a way too.

Soon the tension of the silence builds up. Castiel takes breath to say something and then just stops and keeps walking.

‘What?’ Sam glimpses at him.

‘Something is not really logical here’ Castiel frowns

‘What exactly?’

‘You.’ Castiel looks at him and Sam’s brows lock questionably. ‘7 years ago you weren’t born yet… and now… you are an adult. How come?’

Sam snorts and shrugs ‘I’m not really sure. I grew up really fast and mom suggests it’s because the angelic part of me that’s from my father. I don’t complain. I actually think that’s better because for the last few years I learnt how to be strong and how to protect myself and mom and the rest who move with our pack. After all childhood in Purgatory doesn’t seem good.’

‘I want to see her. I want to go and see Merry’ Castiel shoots straight and Sam stops.

‘We can’t. I’m sorry…’

‘What do you mean we can’t?’ Castiel gets angry the very moment.

‘We are getting farther and farther from our area. We can’t risk going back. Besides it will take us weeks to go and come back to find the exit. We don’t have that luxury.’

‘Your mother deserves to know everything. I want her to know that I came to look for her and you…’

‘Oh, I …’ Sam snorts and shakes head ‘Just now I understand. You are feeling so guilty that you left us to go after your revenge that you want and take my mother’s forgiveness so your soul may finally find peace. Don’t you think it’s a bit too late for that?’

‘Alright’ Castiel admits ‘It’s true. I feel guilty and I want forgiveness. But I also care about Merry, I want her to know I didn’t forget the promise.’

They stare at each other for some time, Sam considering his words and Cas hoping to gain Sam’s trust.

‘You intend to get me out of here’ Sam says quietly more as announce than a question. ‘You still understand that I’m half werewolf. Is not going to be easy and if someone out there finds out…’

‘I can take that risk’ Castiel cuts him ‘Still there is part human inside you and I promised. I dedicated my life to revenge someone that is not going to come back to me… it’s time to do something right. It’s time to turn the page and start a new chapter. I was living in a thick fog of blending nights and days with the only thought to kill everything that has claws and fangs. But as you are standing in front of me, with the same things… I can’t do it this time. I can’t hurt you. This is where my limits are.’

The look in Sam’s eyes brings the most human side in him and Castiel can’t help a small curve of a sad smile on his lips. And though so fade smile he can feel how true it is. That’s the first time he feels like smiling with true emotion.

‘You are… ready to toss everything away because of me? All the training all those years, the money from the black market the revenge…?

‘Yes’ Cas cuts him again ‘I’ll leave everything for you. Those things can’t bring me anything but pain. I don’t want my past to chain me when there is something that can push me forward’

‘But I’m a monster’ Sam exhales as his face breaks in the most human way that brings tears in Castiel’s eyes. He catches his fingers and squeezes them tight.

‘You are not a monster Sam. Your mother is not a monster. You have heart the same way she does. And I’m an idiot for forgetting this. I don’t deserve anything and as I’m stuck here I may not survive but you will. My ruthlessness, my karma turned against me and locked me here where everything wants me dead. If there is something I will do that’s to keep my only promise and get at least you out. I just need you to be strong. Let’s gain each other’s trust and keep going.’

Sam takes a shaky breath and swallows his tears.

‘Don’t think I’m innocent… I’ve killed here as well and I’m not proud of it… but if we keep going to the end… be ready to see the worst of me. You don’t know me enough. You haven’t seen anything. You picture of me might change after Purgatory.’

Castiel smiles at him tiredly and nods, caressing Sam’s knuckles.

‘Everyone change after Purgatory. But you are just now going to find your true self and I want to help you.’

‘What about you?’

‘I already lost my human side when I got on a killing spree… ‘

‘You speared my life Cas’ again a wave of fire washed over Castiel of the way Sam pronounced his name with warmth no one ever did ‘I’m not even a half of a human but I’ll share the little I have. I wouldn’t be alive you hadn’t saved my mother. I think I owe you at least that’

Their touch breaks as Purgatory slowly gets semi-dark as if later afternoon in the other world, howls, hisses and growls coming from somewhere far. The Purgatory creatures are waking, getting more active as the hunting is over. Castiel’s presence is easily detected and everyone is hungry for fresh flesh.

‘Do you trust me?’ Sam reaches hand towards Cas. He nods.

‘Do you?’ the hunter asks staring at Sam’s glowing with adrenaline yellow eyes and he swears that even Merry’s eyes weren’t as beautiful as Sam’s.

‘Run’ Sam breathes out shakily, his face as childish as it never been and Cas wonders how can he be a monster with such a face.

Cas catches his hand and with racing hearts they sprint between the trees, Cas letting being dragged by Sam, trusting his night vision and instincts. But that’s what Cas can’t accept yet – Sam is not like Merry. Sam is a different person, he is a hybrid with own thinking and may be Cas trusts him too fast, may be Sam had fallen for version of Cas that’s been someone else point of view. But Cas is the first human Castiel meets, the first human kind to him and his human part enjoys it and wants more.

Both against Purgatory. And no matter how different they think they are… they are about to find that they are not that different. In the scary way, the way they try to avoid. They both believe that Purgatory’s darkness can’t bring them down. The monster within them can only take control. It’s up to them if they will let it happen. 


	5. Bonding around the Eden's fruits

**A/N:** The gif in the chapter is graphic by amazing [Ivana](http://www.sam-cas-untold-lovestory.tumblr.com) 

* * *

 

Cas and Sam spent the Purgatory form of night stuffed in a tree hole. Cas was in the bottom and Sam was on the front to cover up his smell. And as much as Cas didn’t want to sleep he fell within minutes. While Sam kept awake to make sure nothing will pull them out and eat them.

Castiel wakes up with sudden sharp inhale and Sam turns his head to look over shoulder.

‘Good morning’ he greets and smiles shortly before crawling out the hole to stretch.

‘I didn’t mean to fall asleep’ Cas rubs his eyes after he crawls out as well.

Sam looks him carefully and his lips curve in a slight smile as he admires Cas’ messy black hair, blue sleepy eyes and scruffy chin and cheeks. He doesn’t really look like a coldhearted hunter.

‘It’s absolutely okay. I stood at charge all night. You needed rest.’ Sam reaches hand to brush some leaves off Cas’ hair and fix it a bit. ‘It’s my first night away from my family. I didn’t know it’s that scary in that place. I heard noises that I couldn’t even recognize.’ 

‘Thank you…’ Cas nods without looking up at him and adds fast ‘Let’s don’t stay here till the next night. We better move. The faster we get to the exit,  less problems we will have.’

It’s not much after they are back on their track when a low quiet growling comes from somewhere near and Sam pins at his spot stepping protectively right in front of Cas and hearing around  
.

Cas closes his eyes and stops breathing and moving. It’s not something they planned but Cas trusted Sam by instinct. His heart picks up speed with adrenalin and maybe even a bit because of Sam protective reaction. The silence gets heavier and Cas can’t handle it. The low growling noise appears again and Sam turns around to find the source but he can’t locate anything so he tilts head shortly and frowns.

‘Anything ?’ Castiel whispers eyes open wide staring at Sam’s chest covered with layers of clothing.

‘Nothing’ Sam answers and looks around again as if he is even slightly disappointed.

The growl comes again from Castiel and he frowns, caressing his own belly. Sam looks at him confused and his expression softens when he notices.

‘It’s you. You are hungry’

‘Yes. We can keep going now’ Castiel tries to walk pass him.

‘Let’s find you some breakfast first’ Sam offers as he catches Cas’ forearm.

‘I can handle some starving. When we get in my world I’ll have king size cheeseburger. Right now that’s what keeps me going.’

‘What if I can offer you something far better than… whatever you want to eat back there?’ Sam looks at him with mischievous smile that keeps Castiel’s pulse high. Then he looks around.

‘Well… I doubt we can find anything nutritious around that place’

‘I’ve been here long enough to know some secrets. It’s time to share them with you’ Sam smiles and stands tall suddenly becoming serious his eyes starting to glow slightly in a bright silver colour. A warm wave washes over Castiel. Both because of Sam’s words and his magical eyes. He finds the situation so breathtaking that he doesn’t dare to say or do anything. He just stands by Sam’s side, looking up at him with interest and his breath ceases in his lungs when Sam smiles again staring somewhere far in the distance, being proud of what he is doing.

‘Found them.’

After few minutes they are sitting on the ground a pile of different shape and sizes of fruits spread over Cas’ bag.

‘So get this – Purgatory was once Eden. The heaven garden where Adam and Eve had lived. With my angelic part I could track the trees and bushes that are still growing the once Eden’s fruits. They are still eatable. Those for example are my favourite’ Sam takes few blueberry’s, or at least that’s what Cas thinks, and shoves them in his mouth. Cas stares him with raised eyebrows.

‘How am I sure I won’t poison myself?’

‘I eat them’ Sam shrugs.

‘But you are half werewolf, if you start to poison with few berries that part of you will save you. The odds are not in my favour.’

Sam drops his head looking somewhere to the side and Castiel shuts up, thinking over his words.

‘I don’t mean… that I don’t trust you…’

‘But you mean that you consider me as the monster that may or may not have back thoughts about protecting you’

‘You are not a monster…’

‘Yeah’ Sam snorts and cuts him again ‘Keep repeating yourself that’

‘Why are you doing this?’ Cas gets irritated ‘Why are you trying to fight me every time I try to comfort you?’

‘Because you don’t know me’ Sam’s eyes flicker in yellow just for a moment. ‘Because you believe I’m something that I’m not. Because I’ll disappoint you at the end and that’s something I can’t handle. Do you know…’ Sam’s eyes fill with tears ‘you are a hero in my mother’s eyes. You haven’t seen the passion in her eyes when she was talking about you.’

‘Shut up’ Cas reaches hand and settles on the side Sam’s neck ‘Listen to me. You said it yourself – I’m a killer. I turned myself like that by my own choice. You on other hand are born like that. But you can choose what to be. You have chance not to make the mistakes I did.’

Sam swallows hard and raises watery gaze at Cas, surprised to see a sad smile painting his lips. Cas brushes close to the corner of Sam’s eye and pulls his hand back.

‘Look’ he shows his finger ‘That’s a tear Sam. Your human tear. No monster can cry like that even if they try.’ Cas drops his hand to the fruits and takes the same berries Sam did, shoving them in his mouth and chewing. Then he stops all of a sudden and tilts head. ‘Those taste like heaven’. Sam bursts in laughter and uses the moment to wipe his tears. Meanwhile Cas takes different fruit and tries it. His eyelids drop close and he moans as he chews. ‘Ohmygod… that is so much better than a cheeseburger.’

He keeps eating, trying to satiate his hunger and every new fruit has such different and amazing taste he can’t help but moan and remark the taste again and again. And sometimes he mumbles something incoherent and just when Sam clears his throat and Cas opens his eyes he notices Sam’s scarlet cheeks and his unsuccessful try to hide his reaction. Cas tries to hide a smirk and brushes the corners of his mouth, standing up.

‘Are we going?’

‘Yeah’ Sam nods and stands up handing Cas his bag.

To go back on their track they have to climb down an abrupt hill. Cas looses stability and trips, rolling down the hill in the rubble covered with fallen leaves. He hears Sam yelling after him and when Cas finally stops on flat ground he whines and feels Sam’s hands trying to pick him up.

‘Are you okay?’Sam tries to stand him up on his feet.

‘Yeah’ Cas breathes out ‘I’m gonna be bruised for some time.’

‘Where does it hurt?’

‘Everywhere, I just rolled down the hill’

‘I just want to help you’

‘How?’  Cas inhales and shuts closed his eyes. It takes Sam only a second to detect where the pain is.

Without saying a word he steps closer to Cas and unfolds his jacket. Cas grasps his wrist and looks up at him questionably. He is not used to such reaction even less coming from Sam. Not because of what he is but because that’s Sam. He doesn’t want to stop him of what he wants to do, oh no, he is eager to find out.

‘Let me try’ Sam says quietly and Cas gives in his innocence.

Sam places his large hand on the left side of Castiel’s ribs over his shirt and after not much long the pain is soothed enough to let Cas take a deeper breath without much problem.

‘How did you do it?’ Cas touches his own chest to find where the bruise was.

Sam shrugs ‘My angelic part I guess. You told me I could choose what to be. I choose to be good. I choose to be protective’

There is very distant howl and Sam’s stands in fighting position ‘We better keep going’

Cas catches his hand and drags him back on track. There is no more insecurity in touching, no fear or disgust. Cas wants Sam close to him, Sam needs him to feel human. And though their first encounter in person wasn’t that successful, their adventure through Purgatory opens a new page for their relationship that may go farther than expected.  


	6. As Time Rolls

Sam and Cas keep even pace of walking through the creepy Purgatory. None of them notices that they haven’t let go their hands since they ran from the howls in the morning. It’s been hours of their walking and mostly Sam is the one to lead. Though he doesn’t tell Cas, he mistakes the track sometimes and tries to cover it up. At some point it starts getting difficult for him. He can’t stop his super hearing and there are things hiding between the trees and following them since the morning, but don’t dare to attack. Sam splits between following the path, correcting his mistakes, listening carefully for any signs of something dangerous approaching. The predator inside him wakes up. His reactions become sharp – the spin of his head, the fast rolling of his yellow eyes, the sharp pull of Cas’ hand towards different directions, heavy breathing, confusion.

‘Sam’ Castiel calls him and pulls his hand to slow him down. Sam is totally lost in his dominant side that he suddenly turns to Castiel with low cautionary growl ‘It’s okay… calm down… take a breath and exhale slowly’

Sam understands him fast and do as he ordered, blinking and changing his colour back to hazel. He lets go of Cas’ hand and slides fingers through own hair. It feels like he is just awaken from a dream and Castiel’s voice sounds somehow rough and distant.

‘I can’t catch your speed. And you seem couldn’t hear me, I asked if we could stop for a break and how far we are.’

‘I-I’m sorry’ Sam exhales and rests shoulders suddenly becoming shorter than earlier when his predator side was using his entire capacity of his massive body. ‘I’m sorry Cas… I made a mistake… we … walked a bit more than we should, I went the wrong direction a few times and something is following us…’ Sam can’t catch his breath and it’s so heavy, he didn’t feel it few minutes ago.

‘It’s okay’ Castiel catches his shoulder comfortingly and looks him right in the eyes ‘We all make mistakes. It’s not a big deal. You fixed it. I didn’t even notice. It’s okay. We can have some rest. Are you thirsty?’

Sam nods and sits on a rock while Cas kneels down to take the bottle out of his bag. He opens it and lifts it up but for his awful surprise the bottle is empty and the bag is wet.

‘Damn it’ he breathes out and thinks fast what to do. Sam is already looking him questionably ‘The bottle is broken. When I feel down the hill… damn it…’

‘Are you thirsty?’ Sam asks quietly and Cas nodes barely noticeable. ‘Eat the fruits we left with. The nearest clean water stream is one hour away from here. We can get there, fix the bottle and fill it up.’

‘Let’s go’ Cas takes Sam’s hand to help him up, though he doesn’t need any help but Castiel feels that he has to support him.

‘Just be careful okay?’ Sam lets go of him and turns around to catch the path again.

Castiel’s fingers twitch and curl in a fist by the lack of Sam’s tight grip. And it was odd. He is suddenly cold and distant and Castiel doesn’t like it. After feeling the warmth and the closeness building between them, the trust and need, the hunter feels that he has to go farther and don’t let all of this crumble down. Sam needs him more than Castiel expects.

‘I won’t let you lose yourself to the predator, Sam’ Cas assures him quietly, turned to Sam’s back, shyly sliding fingers in Sam’s large palm and the big man’s breath ceases in his lungs. He is not used to such comfort and tenderness, less from a hunter. And he doesn’t want to let him down. All Sam is afraid of is to lose it… to harm someone who doesn’t deserve. He can’t be that weak. He has to prove it for himself. He has to prove Cas that he can handle it and live in his world.

They just walk few more minutes before Sam stops as he senses approaching danger, immediately followed with the thick smell of blood.

‘Are you hurt?’ Sam turns to Cas.

‘I still feel pain from the falling…’ Cas shrugs and silences as Sam leans close to him, sniffing him.

‘You stink with blood.’

‘My leg and my waist… I guess I scratched a bit too deep while falling’

‘Didn’t you feel it earlier… damn it…’ Sam looks around and thinks fast.

‘I was full with adrenaline…’

‘They follow the damn smell. We haven’t escape from them even for a minute. They wait right time to attack us.’ The growls and the howls and the unfamiliar noises get louder. They know.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t feel it earlier’ Castiel rises voice and all of a sudden Sam starts taking off both their jackets ‘What are you…?’

‘Take my jacket and go to the water stream, wash and find a place to hide’

‘And you?’ Castiel frowns while sliding arms in Sam’s enormous jacket.

‘I’ll go opposite direction with your smell and trick them.’

‘No, we are not splitting up’ Castiel protested fast.

‘Listen to me’ Sam catches the side of his neck and bends to his eye level, breathing heavy ‘We don’t have other option. You are going to be safe like that. I’ll be okay. Just run and don’t look back. I’ll get them as far as possible and then come back to you. When the darkness fall I’ll be back to you, I promise’

‘Sam’ Castiel tries to protest again, his heart hammering in his chest.

‘GO’ Sam pushes him and looks around fast before running the opposite direction.

The next few hours are the longest time of Castiel’s entire life. He gets to the water stream for less than an hour and washes himself clean from dirt and mostly the blood. He can’t fix the bottle well so he tries to keep the water in for as long as possible. It takes him half an hour to look around and find the best hiding spot – a hole in the ground under a giant rock hidden in between high trees and bushes. He checks if it’s safe enough and goes inside. It’s not very roomy but it’s warm and the musky smell of the soil will cover up his human smell. And the following hours are pure torture. His wrist watch counts down and Sam does not appear. Castiel risks it and walks around looking if Sam would appear from somewhere. But it does not happen. With every minute his heart hammers harder and harder in his chest, rock settling in his throat, his legs itching to run back and find him.

What if they caught him? What if he is already dead?

The thought hits Cas in the stomach, his head heating up with panic, feeling as if he is going to throw up. He doesn’t care if he gets out from Purgatory. He wants Sam to be with him. He promised to get him out. For his sake. Sam doesn’t belong here. And if he dies… Castiel doesn’t deserve to escape either.

Sam ran over an hour, followed by all the possible monsters that want Castiel dead. He was afraid all the way. And as much as he was trying not to think about Castiel, he just couldn’t. Being away from him seemed more painful than he thought. All he wanted to know if he is safe and sound near the water stream.

He stops, takes off Castiel’s jacket and throws it on the highest branch on a tree. Then he doesn’t wait more before running on a roundabout path to go back to find Castiel.

All the noises, growling, howling and hissing, disappear. They are all left behind and tricked. Sam knows the monster’s nature and knows very well how to trick them and how to use their weak spots. A smile of relief creeps on his lips.

‘Good evening Samuel’ a suited up big man comes out around a tree. Leviathan.

Sam nails on his spot, eyes opened wide, heart speeding up. He turns around to run but then from behind another tree big dude in casual clothing comes around. Werewolf that Sam is not familiar with. He looks around and he is surrounded by a whole group of all kinds of Purgatory monsters. And though he tries to hide his terror, he can’t stop shaking. He turns into a child.  7 years of life, growing up too fast, that’s not enough. He haven’t lived yet and he is about to die.

The werewolf throws Castiel’s jacket in Sam’s feet. ‘Did you really think you gonna troll us? We are not idiots, Samuel.’

The leviathan stands behind Sam and wraps a steel chain around his neck, kicking him till Sam falls on his knees with a heavy gasp, struggling to get free. Where did they get the chain? He is just a boy. And he is terrified, hot tears threatening to roll over the edge of his eyes. But the predator side of him builds adrenaline and draws a red curtain before his eyes that Sam tries to stop. He can’t lose it. He can’t let the predator take control. If he dies he will die as close as human as possible.

‘Where is the hunter?’

‘Why? Can’t you find him in your own home?’ Sam’s laughs at them through his own terror – the side of his wolf. The leviathan tightens the chain around his neck, but giving him enough air to breathe and talk.

‘Let me tell you something you might not know. It was all planned Sam. Who do you think told the hunters about you? They made sure Castiel will find out about you so when he finds you, you will kill each other’ All the innocence gets wiped off Sam’s face ‘We are all sick of him, even his fellow hunters. You were both supposed to kill each other. But this bastard had too much heart and he couldn’t carve the heart out of you. And you still protect him. What kind of idiot are you? Don’t you see? He is the greatest monster among his own kind and us. It’s matter of time before he kills you. What do you think he will do with you if he takes you out of here?’

‘SHUT UP’ Sam growls, unsuccessfully trying to untie the chain, feeling how weak he gets because of the leviathans words ‘You are lying’

‘You are hybrid on a leash, Sam. You will always be someone’s bitch on a leash’ the leviathan kicks him and Sam lands on all fours, still the chain around his neck. ‘You don’t belong anywhere. You are toy, you are a freak. You have to be kept on a leash’

Sam feels like he is going to throw up. He is going to lose his sanity. They tell him the truth he is trying so hard not to believe. But Castiel won’t betray him. Castiel won’t let such thing happen.  

‘Where is the hunter?’

‘BITE ME’ Sam chokes out.

‘As you wish’ the leviathan twists his words, taking them literally. He kicks Sam to drop on his back and falls on knees next to him opening its nasty big mouth with sharp teeth sinking them in the side of Sam’s stomach.

The cry that follows can be heard miles away. Cry filled with unbearable pain and desperation. Cry that no human being can imagine.

The leviathan leans to Sam, who is shaking and sweating on the ground, bleeding with normal blood and black goo through his wounds, the monster whispering in his ear.

‘Don’t worry Sam. We will take care of the hunter, wherever he is. The burn will disappear in a few hours… along with your heart beat. If you don’t drown in the black goo you are going to vomit before that. The burn you were going to feel while going through the exit of Purgatory wasn’t going to be more pleasant. No monster can go through that exit and survive. But it doesn’t matter anymore. We will greet your lover when we find him. Try to count sheep.’

The monster pats his shoulder and the whole group disappears, leaving Sam writhe and dying on the ground in the silence of that hell a-like place.

After few minutes his body is peaceful, slowly heating up and burning, his eyelids closed.

_Castiel… Castiel… Castiel… he needs you… he waits you… don’t you dare give up now. He gone through hell for you, you have to get to him. Castiel is waiting for you. You can heal. Just get to his arms and heal yourself. Castiel is smart. They won’t find him. But you will. You have time. Step by step and you will get to him. STAND UP SAM. STAND UP. GO. NOW._

Sam’s eyes snap open, breathing shakily. He chants Castiel’s name again and again. His arms bend close to his body and he pushes himself up. He is not going to give up. Not now! Not when Castiel still needs him.        


	7. It's Worth it

Castiel sits in the dark hole with head buried in his hands. And he waits. Sam promised. He would be back to find him but it’s over 5 hours already and Castiel is losing his mind. He realizes that without Sam nothing actually matters. Everything will be waste. Everything will be lost. They are close to the exit. They can’t give up now, they can’t lose each other at the finish line.

Castiel waits. One minute. Two minutes. Five minutes. He believes Sam will show up. He promised.

He waits just one more stretching painful minute and crawls out the hole. Then he takes his bag, looks around in any case and heads back where he came from. He doesn’t care if he has to walk all Purgatory night, he will walk his legs off but he will find Sam or die trying.

There is movement in front of him just 2 minutes away from the cave he was. He takes out his knife and approaches quietly. The thing stumbles upon some branches but keeps steady, making throaty bubbling noises. Castiel shudders and feels as if thousand little needles pin all over his skin.

‘Cas’ the thing whimpers and chokes.

‘SAM’ Cas cries and turns the flash light towards him. What he sees rips his heart in a half. Though Sam looks like he was excavated from a grave, he smiles childish as he sees Cas and the hunter can’t believe how innocent and small Sam looks. Helpless as well.  He runs to him catching him on time before Sam’s body hits the ground. ‘I thought you were dead. Hold on…’ Cas shudders as he sees all the blood and black goo all over Sam. ‘What is happening to you? Sam? What happened?’

‘Hide… where?’ he barely asks and coughs a handful of black goo that turns Cas’ face pale.

The hunter helps Sam to the cave under the rock and turns the flash light to check him out. His clothes are ripped, the side of his stomach bleeding, his mouth and chin dripping with nasty disgusting black goo that Sam won’t stop vomiting.

‘Don’t you dare die on me’ Cas cries as he holds Sam’s head. ‘Why aren’t you healing?’

‘I have to… active it…’ Sam breathes heavy and presses hand to his wound, trying not to vomit again, sweat rolling down his face.

‘What are you waiting for?’ Cas hisses at him and takes out the water bottle which is empty again.

Sam reaches hand and squeezes the side of his neck again ‘Listen, I need you to go take water again… meanwhile I will start healing… aaahhhggg… I don’t want you to witness this. Please.’

‘No…no… we splitted up and look what happened. I’m staying here’ Cas shakes head.

‘Castiel… 5 minutes please. Trust me. I promised you I’ll come back. Trust me on this as well. Just don’t turn around no matter what you here’

Cas nods helpless and crawls outside. The cool air feels so good on his hot skin soaked with concern and fear. He is no more than 20 steps away when he hears Sam’s throaty loud cry of pain. Castiel’s eyes screw closed, his fingers curling in a fist as if he is capable of feeling Sam’s pain. But if he could, he would have suffered on his place.

He forces his legs to keep moving and get to the water stream. The cool water feels soothing on his heated up skin. The few gulps he takes spread down his throat and he feels the coldness in his lungs and it’s almost like drinking energy, like waking up after a tough dream. He tries to delay the returning in the cave with a bit more time. He wants to give Sam privacy so he waits till the dull groans and cries coming from the hiding place disappear completely.

Castiel feels such an inappropriate happiness. Sam kept his promise and came back to him. Poisoned and dying he made it. And Castiel knows he has to keep his promise as well. And though it’s heavy, he still feels light and happy that Sam is back to him. And the hunter will take care of him. Cas hurries back to him because he just can’t stay away from him, especially not now.

A jolt of panic shoots through Castiel when he finds Sam lying numb with closed eyes, but then the man blinks, his eyes sparkling and smiles tiredly at Cas with that same childish innocent smile. He looks so helpless and fragile that Cas is scared to approach him. He doesn’t want to hurt him more than that. Still he curls close to him and strokes his hair.

‘Are you better?’

‘Just tired. But I’m healing now. I’ll be back on my feet in few hours’ Sam gets genuinely touched by the tears welling in Castiel’s eyes. The one that tried to kill him is now comforting him and suffering with his pain. ‘I’ll be okay Cas, relax.’ Sam’s voice is hoarse from all the screamed out pain.

They stay in silence. Sam washes his mouth from the black vomited goo, and Castiel rips his bottom t-shirt to use is as a cloth with water to clean San’s stomach. He rolls up Sam’s layers and very carefully rubs his skin clean. Sam is so fit and strong and Cas hopes those wounds won’t leave scars. But even if they do, they would be a sign of survival. Proof to his determination. It looks somehow heroic. He doesn’t even twitch under Cas’ touch he even relaxes. Sam radiates so much innocence and pureness around Castiel that the hunter get more convinced he doesn’t belong here and he have to pull him out.

‘You were almost dead, Sam. How did you… walk all the way here? Why didn’t you heal earlier?’

‘I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. I couldn’t let my wolf side take dominance. I’m not like the other wolves that can think clear while ripping someone apart. I wanted to stay as normal as possible. The thought about you, the promise I made… that’s what kept me going. I couldn’t let you down.’

Castiel’s eyes well up with tears again. Sam risks too much for him and he doesn’t even deserve it. He takes Sam’s jacket off own shoulders, folds it and sits closer to Sam’s head, lifting it up and placing the jacket as a pillow beneath him. He is leaning so close to him, protectively, thirsty for Sam’s breath.

‘You keep me human Cas.’ Sam smiles with closed eyes, fingers brushing against Cas’ stubble cheek. He looks so happy and Cas can’t understand.

‘But you lose half of yourself. You lose your potential; you lose half of what makes you who you are. It’s like you are handicapped’ Cas voice is close to whisper, shaky, warm, hovering above Sam.

‘But it’s worth it, Cas.’ Those words he expects the least ‘I choose to lose that part and I need you… to replace it. I need you to complete me. I want to be human with you. No matter what they say about you, you helped a monster like me and that pays for all the bad you did. I forgive you everything Cas.’ Sam takes few breaths and flutters with eyelids just to meet Castiel’s blue eyes and struggling expression, trying not to burst into crying. ‘It’s worth it’ Sam repeats and the words warm up Cas pleasantly, making him feel complete. Everything broken just glues back together. A monster forgave his mistakes. No. Not a monster. Sam. Sam forgave him. They are on much different level.

Castiel’s hands settle carefully on the sides of Sam’s head. He cuts the remaining distance and presses burning lips to Sam’s. He is gentle and tentative as if he is scared that Sam may break or worse – draw back. But Sam does not. His lips twitch in response, eyelids falling completely closed with pleasure and tiredness, his thumb rubbing over Cas’ cheekbone. Cas tears break through his squeezes eyes and drop on Sam’s face, soaking in his skin. Sam’s hand drops and Cas pulls back slowly, barely detaching their lips. He links fingers with Sam’s who is asleep with exhaustion. 

‘Sweet dream my Sam. I’ll watch over you.’

Castiel curls to Sam in the dark silent hole, proceeding to stroke his hair and hum a song about them being safe and sound, calling the morning light. The trust Cas was hoping on is built up between them, sealed with a brief but sweet kiss. The sweetest kiss Cas ever tasted.

In two hours Cas catches himself falling asleep, but his body is numb and he really needs to reveal himself. He kisses the top of Sam’s forehead and crawls out of the hole, looking around and stretching his muscles. He takes a short walk around the rock and finds a spot to use as a toilet. He had drunk so much water it feels like he is peeing for too long already.

 He just zips up his jeans and turns around when a sharp pain cuts through his skull and he falls in unconsciousness. 

 

* * *

**A/N** : Graphic by amazing [Ivana ](http://www.sastiel-affair.tumblr.com)

 


	8. In the Hands Where There is No Mercy

**Previously on Hybrid on a Leash:**   
_Castiel attended the 7 thannual Purgatory hunting. He found what he was looking for but it wasn’t what he expected. He got locked and Sam saved his life._

_‘I couldn’t let them hurt you’ Sam explained and frowned like that was obvious. Like why would Castiel ask such thing._

_‘B-but why?’ Castiel insists and stands up with shaking legs. ‘I came to kill here. I stabbed you. Why would you help me now?’_

_Sam listens him carefully and shrugs after a little ‘Because no human deserves to die in Purgatory. Because you are not like the rest… at least that’s how I see it’_

_They ran through Purgatory in search for the exit. Cas tries to keep his promise towards Sam and his mother. They got chased and fought each other but finally gained each other’s trust. They splitted up for Cas own protection. The monsters got Sam and he almost died but his feelings for Cas made him move and reach him in his hiding place. But things didn’t end well._

* * *

 

**Purgatory now**

There are nearly 3 hours till the day sets upon Purgatory.

Sam’s eyes snap open, flashing in red just for a second. He yawns hard enough to make his jaw ache and look at himself. The wounds are healed, his skin pretty much cleaned. Castiel had taken good care of him.

‘Castiel’

He calls with morning voice and sits up in the dark hiding hole. He looks around, the wolf vision giving him the ability to see in the dark. He can’t see Cas but the thick scent is all around him. Sam takes Cas’ bag and crawls out of the hole. Maybe he is to the water stream or somewhere near. But he shouldn’t have left without telling Sam. He calls Castiel’s name again and tries to concentrate on the smell. It’s thick somewhere near. It isn’t leading to the water stream however. Sam looks around and walks around the stone. He follows the scent to a tree and leans towards it. His eyes screw closed and he pulls back.

‘A-a-alright, you peed here. Good to know.’ Sam chuckles and looks around again. A drop of blood in the leaves catches his attention. Sam kneels and touches the blood. He brings it to his lips and licks it. It spreads all over his tongue and it’s definitely Castiel. ‘Cas, no’ he whispers and runs down the hill from where they both had come.

Heart pounding in his chest, his wolf senses activated, he’s running as fast as possible, following Cas’ scent. All he cares about is that Cas is in danger. After he took care of Sam, Sam failed to protect him. He shouldn’t have fallen asleep and … what is he going to do if Cas is… dead.

Sam’s heart skips a beat by the thought and for a first time panic overwhelms him. His eyes starts flashing in white and yellow, almost tripping over his own feet while trying so hard to follow Castiel’s direction and reach him as fast as possible. If Cas is dead, Sam is pretty sure he would lose his mind and do all the things he shouldn’t. He needs Cas and Cas needs him.

* * *

 

The pain is sharp in Castiel’s head. He can feel his own pulse bumping against his temples and he can hear his own heavy breathing. He can swear he is opening his eyes enough to see but it’s so blurry and confusing. He can’t concentrate. He can’t see his surrounding and understand where he is. His head is heavy, his body aches but he tries to come to conscious.

‘Rise and shine, hunter’

Castiel feels a cold hand to his face, squeezing his jaw and he focuses slowly, still the sounds coming dull and incoherent to his hearing.

‘Sam’ Cas mumbles and rests head back to the tree he is tied up to. The reality comes to his head faster and faster and he feels more alive than few seconds ago.

‘Don’t worry, he will join the party soon.’

The voice is unfamiliar, too rough and irritating. Castiel squeezes his eyes and jerks his head free which is awful idea because the pain returns even harder. There is low chuckle from more than 2 voices and Cas tries hard to focus and look around. He recognizes 3 werewolves, 2 leviathans and a female vampire. His heartbeat speeds up again and he tries to use his hands but then he realizes he is tied up tight to a tree, unable to move any part of his body except his head. He is near a lake, but not a lake he is familiar with. The monsters are smiling with triumph. Castiel’s face goes pale and he tries to get free more violently.

‘No need to try so hard, handsome. There is no use.’

‘What do you want from me?’ Cas’s voice comes quiet, almost as a whisper.

‘Basically… we want you dead.’ The leviathan grins and looks around.

‘So why don’t you get over with it?’ Cas cries and closes eyes with desperation.

‘Because, it will be much funnier when the big boy comes around.’

‘Please… don’t … Sam is innocent.’

‘He is a freak…’

‘And you are not?’

Castiel’s question earns him a slap across the face. He cries and his lip starts bleeding.

‘He is a mix of werewolf, angel and human. He does not belong anywhere. You failed to kill him and he failed to kill you too, because, let’s be honest’ the leviathan speaks really close to Castiel’s face ‘we are all sick of you, and your friends, hunting us down in our own home, using us outside,  for your nasty purposes. You are bigger monsters than us.’

‘I stopped. I won’t come here again. Just let me and Sam go.’

‘We don’t think so.’ One of the wolfs steps closer too ‘The pack Sam lives at? We are planning to sacrifice them.’

‘What?’

‘Oh, yes. We will sacrifice his entire pack in exchange for the hunters to leave the werewolves in peace.’

‘N-no, no, you can’t do that.’ Castiel’s panic stars rising again and knows he can’t last long without breaking. He is tied up and he is probably going to die before he can save Sam.

‘Of course, we are not doing anything until we make sure Sam sees the light leaving your pretty blue eyes.‘

Castiel spits in the leviathan’s face and earns another harder slap across his face. This time he spits blood.

* * *

 

Sam approaches really fast. He can smell Cas, hear talking and gets really quiet and slow till he is close enough to look down at the lake. He hides behind a tree, breathing a way too heavy. He hears Cas, his breathing, quiet moans and his heartbeat. He is hurt. The smell of blood is thick. Sam barely suppresses a groan of anger. He peeks behind the tree to see how many they are. He sees Cas tied up, unable to fight, the other monsters looking around and waiting impatiently. Sam definitely has no idea what to do. They are too many to take them alone. He isn’t fast enough to set Cas free so he can help.  He has to get rid of the vampire, then the werewolves and try to fight the leviathans, but he is pretty sure that’s the farthest he can go before getting killed.

‘Well, well, well’ the vampire chick grins and looks at the leviathan ‘They are so predictable.’

The werewolves catch it too and growl towards Sam’s direction up the hill.

‘Oh, Sam, no use to hide’ the leviathan rises voice and looks the same direction as the other monsters. ‘Come down here and we will talk.’

‘SAM, DON’T. RUN’ Castiel yells, his blue eyes filling with tears. They are both so screwed.

‘Shut up’

The leviathan hits him again and Sam startles on his place by the sound of the hit. He breathes uneven, his legs shaking while his brain struggles to decide if he has to appear to them or stay hidden. They know he is there so what is the point. They are too many. Only if…

Sam freezes. He quietly trashes through Castiel’s bag and finds a big knife. He holds it and closes eyes, trying to steady his breathing and see the path to the vampire chick from his position. He sees so clear what he wants to do. He calms down and pushes the adrenaline away. The wolf inside him gets quiet, hidden. Sam feels the warmth of the grace spreading in his veins, radiating from his skin. His palm opens up, he sees the way and sends all the power towards the knife. It shoots from his hand, down the hill and there is a wet nasty sound of cut flesh. And then silence.

Sam opens his eyes and the grace pulls back. He peeks behind the tree and sees as the decapitated body of the vampire chick hits the ground, all other monsters staring at it. She is not dead but will keep her like that for a few hours. He succeeded. One is down. Only if he could lay hands on the knife again and use it to do the same with the werewolves. The idea creates icy shiver down his spine. But he doesn’t have that much power. The leviathan takes the same knife from the ground and steps to Castiel, keeping the blade to his throat as Cas whimpers and squeezes eyes.

‘One more trick, Samuel and his blood will be all over the place. Show yourself.’    

‘SAM, DON’T’ Castiel yells again.

The leviathan cuts the ropes and takes Cas in his embrace, blade to his throat. ‘Come forward and we talk.’

Sam does. He straightens back, lifts hands in the air and comes around the tree. Eyes pinned on Castiel he slowly walks down the hill. His human looks way too colourfull and alive compared to his surrounding. Eyes blue and glistening with tears, red blood dripping down his jaw, little purple on his cheekbone. Sam approaches really slowly and carefully.

‘That’s it. Do not do stupid things, Sam. I’m hungry and I’m pretty sure he can’t heal from leviathan bite as you did.’

‘Let him go’ Sam breathes out and drops Cas’ bag on the ground.

‘As if. You really think that would work? We don’t know mercy, Sam. All we need is good old fashioned revenge.’

‘For what?’

‘Being hunted down every year with more and more modern weapons. We are not invincible anymore, Sam. They know all our weaknesses and the humans want to rule what’s beyond their power. We will kill him… return him to his kind and sacrifice your family in exchange of our freedom.’

‘Humans are too greedy. They won’t stop’ Cas groans.

‘I’m really curious who would come to your funeral. But as it comes to you’ the leviathan looks at Sam the other werewolves tie him in chains in the matter of seconds.

‘NO’ Castiel screams and tries to fight the leviathan who kicks Cas to his knees and points the knife at Sam, speaking to Cas’ ear

 ‘Look at him… such a pretty bitch. As if the chains are made especially for him.

Sam yells and struggles but the others keep him on all fours on the ground, heavy chains around his body, pulling him down.

‘You are lucky we are not going to do anything to you’ Both Sam and Cas get some sort of relief by those words ‘Because the humans will harm you twice worse.

The wolves push Sam flush to the ground, cheek pressed into the dirt, his fearful eyes looking at Castiel.

‘I don’t want you to miss the show’ the leviathan grins and pulls Cas head back hard by his hair, shifting the knife comfortable in his hand. Castiel’s scream dies in his throat. Sam’s doesn’t.

‘NOOOo. PLEASE. DON’T. PLEASE’ he screams and tries to stand up but he has never felt so weak (except the previous night).

‘He saved a freak like you and came to kill here because of you. Now… he will die… because of you.’  

The leviathan grins and raises the knife above his head.  Cas’ body goes limp, his eyes slowly falling closed in awful anticipation for the pain of the knife to cut through his throat. He is going to die without finishing his mission, without having time with Sam in peace.

‘CAAAAS, NOOOOO’

TBC


	9. When the Wolf Takes Control

**Previously on Hybrid on a Leash:**   
_7 years ago_   
_‘So… you are a pregnant werewolf. And the baby is…’_   
_‘A hybrid.’ Merry finishes._   
_‘Where is its dad? What is he?’_   
_‘They hunted him down’ Merry barely answers her eyes filling with tears. ‘He was a Nephilim, half angel. That makes my baby… uum… half werewolf, then, ¼ angel and ¼ human. ‘_   
_‘That’s the strangest combination I’ve ever heard of’ Castiel snorts with a smile.  
ch.3_

* * *

 

_‘I RISKED EVERYTHING’ Castiel yells ‘I lost my sister… I wasted 7 years of my life because I protected your mother.’_

_‘NO ONE ASKED YOU TO. DON’T PUT THE GUILT ON US’ Sam yells back and sends shivers over Castiel’s spine._

_‘I WANTED TO’ Castiel cuts him and takes a breath ‘I had good intentions towards your mother. She became my friend. A proof for me that being a monster is relevant. She was carrying you, Sam. The moment I laid fingers on her bump I got attached to you. You are a unique hybrid…’  
ch.3_

* * *

 

_Sam takes a shaky breath and swallows his tears.  
‘Don’t think I’m innocent… I’ve killed here as well and I’m not proud of it… but if we keep going to the end… be ready to see the worst of me. You don’t know me enough. You haven’t seen anything. Your picture of me might change after Purgatory.’_

_Castiel smiles at him tiredly and nods, caressing Sam’s knuckles._  
‘Everyone change after Purgatory. But you are just now going to find your true self and I want to help you.’  
ch.4

* * *

 

**Purgatory 4 years ago**

Time in Purgatory passes different. One year in the human world can equal 4 in Purgatory. And still monsters don’t feel it that way. Every monster has different way of living and growing and werewolves aren’t exception.

Sam’s only 10. He is curious, different, and everyone knows it. Merry is trying to protect him in their home. She had to expect anything bad that could happen. Betrayal included.

‘Mommy, what’s going on?’

Merry has Sammy’s hand in hers, dragging him across the woods toward the area where their pack is. She got false information about the beginning of the hunting and got in trouble along with Sam. She was supposed to hide somewhere near the entrance and meet Castiel. She knew he will appear and hand Sam to him but she was lied to. They are miles away from their pack and hunters and monsters are after them.

‘It’s going to be okay, honey.’ Merry smiles shortly at him and keeps dragging him fast, hearing the danger after them.

‘Mommy, I’m scared’ Sammy whines after few more steps.

Merry drags him little more and hides them behind a big rock. She kneels down and brushes Sam’s hair off his face.

‘You should not be scared, sweety’ the mother breathes heavy, peeking around the rock. She becomes pale but tries to be strong for her son. ‘Mom will take care. You are strong, Sam. Do you understand me?’ she squeezes his shoulders and Sam nods. ‘You are unique, Sam. I’ve told you many times.’

‘I’m a hybrid’

‘And you’ve done nothing bad. And you won’t do anything bad.’

‘Why do we run then, mommy?’

Merry’s eyes fill with tears but she smiles. She takes off Sammy’s jacket and explains. ‘There are so many awful stuff out there, honey. And they are not friendly. There are men with weapons. You have to stay away from them. Don’t trust anyone except… except Castiel. Blue eyes, black hair, low voice. Remember?’

‘You’ve told me so much of him.’

‘Exactly. He is friend. And he is coming to save you. If you ever meet him, trust him.’

‘But he doesn’t know me, mom.’

‘He will recognize you. Tell him about me.’

‘Where are you going mom?’

‘I will win you some time. I want you to run back home and don’t look back. Find Clara and tell her everything that happened. After that she will take care of you.’

Merry kisses Sammy’s forehead and stands up. She looks around carefully and walks away from the rock with Sam’s jacket and smell in her hands. 

‘Mommy…!’ Sam looks after her, still hidden behind the rock.

‘I love you Sammy.’ Merry throws a last look over her son before running away.

Sam does as he is told. He waits till Merry is far away and he listens around carefully before running from his hiding spot. He is strong but still his child legs can’t keep him running without stopping. There are still many miles and he is afraid he might not get there on time. He is already in a familiar area but he needs to stop and take a breath. Every now and then he looks back but Merry is not coming.

He reaches a little river and drops on knees next to it to take a few gulps. But too late realizes he is not alone.

‘There you are’

Sammy jumps on his feet and turns around to see a rather large man standing not too far from him.

‘Stay away from me.’ He warns with a childish voice.  

‘I’m not going to hurt you. I just want you to come with me.’ The man reaches and grasps Sam’s shoulders. He lifts him up and carries him opposite of where Sam had come.  

‘NO, LET ME GO’ Sammy screams and kicks and the man only chuckles. He turns Sam around and lifts him high from the ground.

‘The humans will take good care of you.’

Sam places his hands at the man’s face and screams. Bright light hits the man in the face and he drops Sam, screaming and stepping back with hands on his burning face. Sam gets up from the ground and runs back to the river where he crosses, chased by the man. Another one meets Sam on the way of his running. Sammy raises his hands automatically at the man.

‘Stay away.’

The other man comes behind Sam and catches his waist and lifts him up. Sammy screams again and a bright light flashes reaching diameter of almost half mile.

**Purgatory Present time**

‘CAAAS, NOOOO’

Sam’s stomach is turning. His veins pulse with adrenaline and fire that feels so familiar. His skin gets too tied, his teeth grow longer, red curtain draws before his eyes, muscles tensing and his rational sense just fades slowly.

Then everything happens fast. Although he is chained and pressed to the ground, he gets enough power to shift and kick those who are holding him down. He gets free from the chains and throws them at the leviathan. They knock him down and he falls to the side but jumps back on his feet and opens his nasty mouth to rip Castiel’s head off. Sam jumps at him with a loud growl and throws him against the werewolves who are trying to reach Sam. He accidentally hits Castiel with the counter attack against the leviathan and the hunter falls on his back with closed eyes. He, however, tries to keep conscious. What he sees makes his blood freeze in his veins - Sam, on all fours, hovering above him, head thrown back as he growls at the monsters, eyes bright red, saliva dripping down his chin, hot air leaving his mouth and nose in thick clouds. Is that even possible? He in an animal and Cas’ heart can burst in his chest.

Sam jumps right at the werewolves. His claws inflict heavy casualties on the enemies. Blood starts spilling, the yells and growls become louder. Castiel shifts on his stomach, breathing heavy, eyes wide opened and following Sam. He has gone absolutely wild. Biting and clawing at the others, he rips the head off the shoulders of one of the werewolves, then catches the neck of a second and slams him against a tree till he dies of it. With one spin he breaks the neck of the last werewolf and then the leviathans climb on him, knocking him on the ground and wrapping the chains back around him.

‘You are such an animal and you gonna die like it’

Castiel lies speechless on the ground. He wants to scream, yell, react somehow, but he is numb, shocked. He sees his bag with weapons on the ground and still nothing comes to his mind. He can’t take his eyes off the monstrous picture in front of him. He is definitely not home. It’s a living nightmare.

Sam yells and tries to shake the leviathans off his body. They try to bite him, kick him, put him down. Bright light starts radiating from Sam, getting brighter and brighter and he growls in the most blood-freezing way that makes Cas’ hair stand up. The second leviathan opens his nasty mouth and is about to rip Sam’s throat when Sam wraps clawed-fingers around his neck and squeezes hard enough to let black goo leak. The other leviathan behind him opens his mouth as well to swallow Sam’s head but the light becomes too bright for Castiel to watch. He squeezes his eyes, mouth still open in heavy breathing. It’s too bright that it goes through his eyelids and he uses bloody dirty hand to cover his face. He can’t hear anything – neither the leviathans or Sam.

It gets extremely quiet all of a sudden. The only thing Castiel hears is the wild thumping of his heart in his ears. He catches himself screaming but there is no sound, only the burn in his throat as he is trying to scream.

He has no idea how much time passed before everything becomes dark again. Although Purgatory is quiet it’s still somehow loud to Castiel’s ears who feels like he just now starts hearing for a first time. As if he is just now waking up. The ground is rough beneath him, his bones ache, the side of his face throbbing with pain, probably where Sam accidentally put his knee. His breathing is uneven, heavy, burning slightly and just now he feels how much he is shaking although he is sweating. His eyes search for Sam and find him immediately. Castiel’s stomach clench and he keeps laying there all numb.

Sam is kneeling on the ground, palms turned upside on his thighs. There is no longer the monstrous look on him. Only the innocent face of a boy. His eyes still shining in red suddenly lose their colour and become almost black. Hair disheveled, blood and black goo all over his mouth, dripping down his chin all over his ripped dirty clothes and onto the ground. His entire body is swinging slightly with the heavy breathing, his mouth releasing clouds of steam. There are no leviathans, no monsters… only Castiel and the mess called Sam.

‘Sam’ Castiel whispers, and it’s like the voice is not even his, too hoarse and quiet.

Seems Sam acknowledges him just few seconds later after Cas called him. His eyes twitch to the side and he tries to focus his gaze through the red curtain on the mess of the ground with still beating heart. Something in him calls for another brutal murder, the ration sense still not reaching his conscious.

‘Sam’ his name echoes through his hearing once again.

He recognizes a pair of beautiful blue eyes, piercing through him. He knows those eyes well and connects them with the person.

The red curtain and adrenaline slowly pulls back, leaving ache all over his body. He inhales somehow broken and a tear breaks its way out of Sam’s eye, wiping the blood down his cheek.


End file.
